Relationships

How to ask someone out on a date with confidence

Many people feel nervous when they have to ask someone out.

They are invariably scared of rejection and hence a lot of people don't bother.

However, this need not be the case. At the end of the day it is all about technique!

Read on to learn more!

Asking someone out on a date can almost match the feelings of speaking in public for some people!

But when you really think about, you are asking a simple question that requires a simple answer, but in reality there is far more to it than that!

It's easier if you know the person

Asking someone out is easier if you have got to know the person a little more through your dealings or conversations with them in the past.

Through your contact with this person in this past it will make it easier for you to start a conversation on a topic you have previously discussed and then make your way to the killer question!

The way to do this is make your question as casual as you possibly can.

"I was wondering whether you'd like to see the new Bond movie with me at the weekend?"

But what if you do not know this person?

Well, I'd assume that you have been looking at each other or made eye contact etc

Go up to the person and ask casually again "We must get together and do something sometime"

By saying it in this way it doesn't sound like a formal date and hence has more appeal.

Also, you don't sound desperate for the date and you don't sound like a little kid saying "Will you go with me?" or "Will you go out with me?"

It's always best to ask someone out in the flesh, but doing it by phone is ok.

Never get your friends to do it, that's a little cowardly!

The beauty about asking someone out on the phone is that you can have notes in front of you, he or she will never know!

Okay, so on to the answer!

If he/she says yes, it's happy days!

If he/she says no or declines, don't worry about it.

Read the non verbal communication signals like body language and the tone and pitch of the voice.

Maybe the timing isn't right for this person or maybe he/she needs to get to know you a little better.

At the end of the day just reply with:

"Okay, maybe another time perhaps"
or
"Okay, no problem"

The worse thing that you can do is to try and persuade the other person after the decline, just leave it.

Try the MAGIC 3!

Try asking the person out on 3 occasions, if he or she makes an excuse each time, take the hint that they are not interested and move on!

This article should be read along with "Confidence with women" in the Relationships section.

Here are some more tips from that article:

Memorise these, and your value to women will increase 10 times!

1. Women love to be romanced, asked out, talked to. They hate to be threatened, controlled, manipulated, and not given the space and time to make their own given choices! Give them time and space, never pressure!

2. There is only one reason a woman would ever go out with a particular man. That reason is because when she thinks about him, she feels good, and saying yes will make her feel good.


3. It is not nearly as important, what a woman thinks about you when you are in her presence, as it is important, what she thinks about you when she is alone.

4. When trying to get a date, your attitude should always be that you want a date with this person, but you are confident that if she says no, it is no big deal, you will get another date soon. Have an attitude of "easy come easy go," but not necessarily so easy to give up!

5. Always remember that the more difficult it is to obtain a date with a specific woman, or in most cases, the more attractive a women is, the better you will have to be at your skills.

1. Asking women out is fun, once you master the process. Never get hung up on one girl that is out to make you a loser. Learn from your mistakes and move on. And never forget, have fun doing it, you will be much more successful and better off in the long run!

2. It's good to be self-confident but never put to much confidence in any one woman. She can always blow you completely away at the last moment! Likewise, never think it is over to soon, a woman can always surprise you and call you up to ask you out!

3. When attempting to close for a date always speak with your goal in mind. In most cases beating around the bush will make it much more difficult to close later. Don't beat around the bush with chit chat, take control by asking questions, get on track, and follow the process with your goal in mind.

4. When talking to women you could possible date, ask questions because:

a. asking questions communicates a genuine concern to the other person.

b. questions are the most non-threatening form of communication and they make women feel relaxed and comfortable.

c. her answers give you information that can help you overcome possible objections ahead of time.

d. asking a woman questions makes her feel important.


e. her answers tell you what she likes and dislikes.


f. It's always better to be a good listener than a good talker. Even a shy person can keep the conversation going with questions.

In addition to the importance of asking questions there is an additional way to make your questions even more non-threatening, to further relax the other person. It includes an introduction to any question such as, "May I ask...", "I am just curious......", "I was just wondering......", or "If I were to ask you.....". These beginning lines are good to use when you think the question itself could be considered a little threatening to the other person.

Practice them in all applications of communication with strangers, or people you do not know very well, and see if you can tell a difference in the responses you get.

Command Questions are statements in the form of a question, spoken for the purpose of inducing specific feelings by power of suggestion.

5. In negotiating anything, the one who cares the least always wins. Persistence is good as long as you persist with an attitude that communicates you care no more about the outcome than she does.

Women want romance and love from a man with a plan.

They want happiness but often are not sure what makes them happy.

Most women know exactly how to please a man.

Too many men are unsure how to please, influence, communicate, or impress women.

Always be confident you can make them happy, but only if they want it!

 
© ConfidenceWorld.com 2002