Advanced Communicaton Skills

CONVINCER

People make decisions and are convinced for only one of four reasons:

It looks right
It feels right
It sounds right
It makes sense

Question? How do you know what type of person they are?
Answer - Ask them this type of question:

Why did you decide xyz?

What their response will tell you:

Looks right people do things because the representation that they make to themselves is a picture that literally looks right. They will use visual words when describing their decision

Feel right people do things because the respresentation they make to themselves is a sensation in some part of their body which literally feels right. They use kinaesthetic words when describing their decision

Sounds right people do things because the respresentation they make to themselves is a series of words which literally sounds right to them. They will use auditory words when describing their decision

Makes sense people do things because the respresentation they make to themselves is based on logic which in their own mind they know is correct. They will use auditory words when describing their decision and they will use facts, data and reason.

Using this in the real world:

In Negotiations with these people:

Us the appropriate language patterns that match their decision process. If providing learning materials make sure it is appropriate for that person - i.e pictures, diagrams, facts, data etc

In Managing these people:

Looks right

Paint a picture in words for them. Draw a picture to explain things. Let them imagine something. Show them how to do it.

Feels right

Have them internally sense what they have to do. Let them get their hands on the task under supervision and touch, feel and experience what needs to be done
Sounds right

Have them describe to themselves in internal dialogue in an appropriate tone of voice what they are supposed to do. Tell them things. Tell them what others say.

Makes sense

Give them reasons for what you want them to do. Let them read instructions on how to do the job. Give them facts, statistics and data.

Influencing language

Appropriate to how they make their decisions. (We are going to look into this in greater detail in the next chapter)

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