 |
Confidence
Building Exercises
|
| How to handle setbacks with confidence How we deal with setbacks has a massive impact on our confidence levels. Faced with a setback how do you currently deal with it? Optimistically or pessimistically? Do you see the glass as half empty or half full? When something doesn't work out the way you would have liked don't beat yourself up about it. Instead look upon it as valuable learning for next time and ask yourself:
In his book THE SELF-ESTEEM Workbook by Glenn R.Schiraldi he produced an exercise called the FLOP INOCULATION! Here, he mentioned that you can prepare for a FLOP (as he calls it) by practising what you will think and do before, during, and after encountering an event that you think you may fail at or have doubts over. Here is his exercise: STEP ONE Put a tick by any statements that would have meaning for you if chosen as part of your coping repertoire relative to mistakes/setbacks. Before ____________ It will be fun to succeed, but not the end of the world if I don't ____________ I'm new at this, so I'll be a little extra careful until I get the hand of it ____________ I see this as a new challenge, not a problem or threat ____________ I'll approach this with curiousity, not fear or self-doubt ____________ I'll aim to do a good job. I won't ruin the experience with perfectionism ____________ I have as much right as anyone to try my hand at this/ ____________ I'll look for success
in little steps and ways. I'll dismiss all-or-nothing ____________ I am embarking without
absolute certainty of all of the facts and outcomes ____________ I have the right to decide
what's best for me and to implement my ____________ I calmly examine the probable outcomes of my actions ____________ If I'm not uptight about mistakes, I'll also be more creative ____________ My focus is development, not mistakes. ____________ It's ok to try and to "flop". ____________ I'll choose the course that seems best. ____________ I'll relax and consider
different approaches and their probable ____________ I'm optimistic and open to all possibilities ____________ What will this challenge require of me? What can I realistically give? ____________ I don't have to be perfect to do well ____________ It could be fun to try and stretch in the process ____________ I'm not afraid to risk and fall short because my worth comes from within. ____________ What's the worst that could happen?
____________ This is difficult. Relax and focus on the task. ____________ Take it step by step. Feel good about little successes. ____________ It's too bad things aren't perfect, but they're not a catastrophe ____________ Everyone makes mistakes
and has rough edges. Why should I assume ____________ My quest to transcend and shape these imperfections is important. ____________ Relax and enjoy the process, glitches and all. ____________ I'm not perfect. I'm human. It's ok to be imperfect. I'll do my best. ____________ I focus on the process. The outcome will take care of itself. ____________ I'll take it one step at a time. ____________ Remember humour. It reminds
me I'm neither as great as I wish I were, ____________ This informs me about my present limitations
____________ I had a weakness. That was then. This is now. ____________ I'm just a beginner at
this, and beginners have to expect mistakes now ____________ This isn't a signpost
to the rest of my life. _____________ I take responsibility
for understanding the situation, but not necessarily _____________ My judgement and behaviour were bad, but I am not bad _____________ Ok, now what? What are my options now? _____________ This revealed a weakness. This is part of me, not all of me. _____________ The weak parts are rough edges. At the core I am worthwhile. _____________ I love myself for this _____________ I am still here for myself, to be a friend through this period. _____________ I have the courage to love myself when I'm imperfect _____________ No matter what happened, I am still worthwhile and unique _____________ I am teachable. I can change and grow. _____________ I can shape my future _____________ I can use experiences from the past and convert them to strengths _____________ I have the right to improve and develop each day. _____________ This will pass _____________ This will help me be better, wiser and stronger _____________ This mistake is away
to look at what I'm doing and see what I need _____________ I'm adequate to learn from this and improve next time _____________ I'll be wiser next time _____________ Ok, I botched that; if at first you don't succeed… _____________ Ok, so I mess up 10% of the time. The rest of the time I do good _____________ I made a mistake. I am not a mistake. _____________ I did it before. I'll do it again. _____________ This is not the end of the world. _____________ The sun will come up tomorrow _____________ What will I learn for the next time? _____________ I can't possibly control everything _____________ Failure is an event, never a person. _____________ Years from now, will anyone really care about this? STEP TWO Below, write fifteen statements you would most like to remember to tell yourself before, during and after times you fall short of your goals. Statements need not come from the above list. "BEFORE" STATEMENTS 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. "DURING" STATEMENTS 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. "AFTER" STATEMENTS 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
|
|
